So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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