like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
