I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
