My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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