We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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