if i can run in heels then i can drive
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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