Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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