Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
