If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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