so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
