It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My life is pants optional.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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