well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
