And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
