I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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