Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize