haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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