My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
