You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
