So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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