check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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