I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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