just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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