She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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