To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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