Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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