I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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