Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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