I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
