Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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