Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
