just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
They took my balls.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
