if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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