Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
