Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
this will be a night to untag.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
