We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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