Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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