do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
