If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
