No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
