His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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