the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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