idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize