I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
