when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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