As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
