He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
