i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize