you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
