i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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