happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
