Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can text with my tongue
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
