She tied me up with her honor cords...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
