Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
