I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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