you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I will be naked everywhere
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
