I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
