You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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