You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
