i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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