she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
