My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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