we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
