You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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